It’s been a year since I watched you take your last breath here on earth. It’s been a year since I last held your hand. It’s been a year since one of the longest days of my life. It’s been a year since we sang songs to you, anointed you with oil. It’s been a year since I said good bye. Even though it has been a year since you left us. You are still teaching me. So what Have I learned in this year since the death of my mother?
Smile because it happened.
There is that great Dr. Seuss quote: “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” In the year since my mothers death there have been tears that have rolled out of me but I have been smiling more and more when I realize those subtle influences she has had on me and my life. I have also smiled in the face of failures of the past year and have found that to be comforting. Mom also had a smile that could bring light to the darkest places. I smile because she was my mother. I smile because I know she is in heaven and one day she and I will meet again. But I have to keep smiling in honor of her down here on earth.
My mother embodied this mantra of Loving Unconditionally, I did not realize how much she embodied this until this past year. She loved everyone. Thinking about the way she lived her life full of grace, peace and love. She understood and modeled the greatest gift to give someone one. Love. While I miss the love and care she showed me, I see how she passed it on to all of us kids and grandkids. So I strive to love like she did.
GO with Your Gut
My mother was my biggest fan. She always encouraged me to be me. To be attentive to the Holy Spirit and where it was leading me. And to go with the gut feeling. She would always ask me when I was talking about a big decision is where do you feel led and to go with that leading. In the last year I have been reminded of this when having to do things. Such as taking a mission trip 2 days after we said good bye, going to world methodist conference, and reffing little league basketball. Being open to where the Holy Spirit is leading you is vital into living a faithful life. It is something my mother has taught me well.
This one year anniversary is not going to be an easy day. But I smile knowing that even though she is not here, she is in heaven helping prepare a place for me when my time comes. That gives me comfort, that gives me hope for the future, that gives me peace. Today I celebrate and remember the great influence that my mother has on me. Knowing that she is still teaching me even after she has departed this world is comforting enough.
My Reflection of her life at her funeral.